耶路撒冷蟋蟀的自述

Good Vibes ツ

Have you seen me in your yard? I'm a Stenopelmatus. Please... DON'T kill me!
你看到我在你的院子了吗？我是一只Stenopelmatus。请不要杀我！

I would like to tell you a little about myself. Many people also know me as a potato bug, Jerusalem cricket, Skull Insect, Childface, or Mother of Scorpion. People get scared when they see me and want to kill me. Reality is that I'm running from you.
我想要告诉你一些我的事情。很多人都知道我是一种土豆害虫，他们叫我耶路撒冷蟋蟀，头骨虫，小孩脸或者蝎子妈妈。人们看到我会非常害怕，然后试图杀死我。现实是，我会立马逃离你。

I'm not a spider nor scorpion nor cricket, and I HAVE NO POISON. My only weapon is my mandibles. With them I feed off the organic waste that is found next to garden plants.
我不是蜘蛛，蝎子，也不是蟋蟀，并且我没有毒！我唯一的武器就是我的上颚。我用它们取食我在花园植物旁发现的有机垃圾。

We have a very important role in the environment, because we help plant growth, thanks to removing the earth and thus allowing soil oxygenation.
我们在环境中发挥着重要运用，因为我们帮助植物生长，由于移动了土壤，所以增加了土壤含氧量。。

My life span is a year. If you find me at night, don't kill me. I'm just looking for food and a safe place to hide. Please... DON'T kill me!
我的生命周期是一年。如果你在夜晚发现了我，请不问杀我。我只是在寻找食物，和一个安全的躲藏之处。所以，请不要杀掉我！

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反差：
Stenopelmatus阿胖查的是昆虫纲一个科，Jerusalem cricket是耶路撒冷蟋蟀，是这个科下的昆虫
Skull n. 头盖骨，脑壳
Scorpion n. 蝎子；蝎尾鞭；心黑的人
mandible n. 下颌骨；上颚，嘴的上部
organic adj. 器官的；器质性的 有机(体)的，有机物的
oxygenation n. 以氧气处理,氧化